29 augustus 2010
I read about it a lot and finally decided to go through the tests for hours in a row and then last Wednesday I got diagnosed AD(H)D combined. And although you know it almost certain long before you walk in the door, you walk out with a completely strange awareness that nothing will be the same again.
My brain does not function the way other peoples brain does… My brain does not function the way a “normal” brain (for that that is worth by the way) does. And still I do not know what it would be like if it would function different.
Who will I tell and who not, how will people react. There is so much to explain and so much to fight against. The prejudice and all the blabla that has been spread on it being an invention of modern times, etc.
Yes, I agreed on medication. Sometime soon I will start on some drug and then we will find out which one will be best .. In 70% of the cases medication works. How will my life be, will it change and how will it change when I start taking medication? My life that had been the way it is now for many, many years. I do not know a different one. I do not know what life will be like when there are not many, many thoughts in my head at the same time. When I might be able to finally write in a normal speed without being miles ahead already, losing track, of where I am writing and losing track of the thoughts.
How will it be when I am able to meet people and being able in following what they are telling, without also hearing what all kinds of other people are talking about…
Yes, absolutely, over the years I adapted to some things that made me struggle. I gave my life a turn for the better luckily. I have no idea where I would have been if that did not happen. Other things in life remained a struggle up until today. Will those things change too and is it worth it to turn certain things upside down …
